Tap Out Negativity

Are you a negative thinker? This may be your cup of tea!

“Don’t Let Others Tell You What to Become.” – Anonymous

The First Commandment (?)

Change your perspective! And yes, I am telling you right now what to become. I am giving you orders to see things the other way around. I am telling you right now to become a person who wrestles with negativity and disregard that “who the hell are you?!” thought coming in your mind.

Who the hell am I?

I am a bald-headed nobody, and was a negative person just like you. I’m over it so I put my insights and realizations from different references into writing, hoping that it can hit the right clout and help them in pursuit of positivity, happiness, and inner peace. And of course, you might have misunderstood me when I said “change your perspective!” because again, you took it negatively.

Here’s the thing: most of us don’t realize that it’s okay to heed other peoples’ advice about the ideal person that we should become, on a certain degree, however. We tend to deflect those remarks (like “change your perspective!”) by other people because we somehow see it as a mockery guised in the name of friendship, or, upon reading this, a moneymaking scheme [because this is a blog post] guised as a People-Helping-People (PHP) blog to attract the right audience. Or maybe I am wrong.

Emotional Styles: We See Things Differently

Anyhow, regardless if I am wrong or right, it only demonstrates that different people see things differently. Simply put, different people have different emotional experience even if the environmental stimulus is the same. And we are also aware that our responses to life’s bullets and whatnots are different from other people. Some people laugh amidst adversities while others mourn, for instance.

These differences elicit peoples’ different Emotional Styles. It’s like a fingerprint! Emotional Styles is a product of more than 30 years of research about the neuroscience of emotions. How? I also have the same question but when the Buddhist, best-selling author, neuroscientist monk started talking about brain waves, and pluses (+) and minuses (-) and graphs, I didn’t bother to continue reading. Who wants to read something like that? However, it says that they were able to point out brain activities underlying each emotional style.

Neuroplasticity: The Good News!

Recent discoveries in neuroscience tell us that while our Emotional Styles is consistent, over time we can change them! Remember that our brain, based on the concepts of neuroplasticity, can change as an offshoot of experience. In fact, there are specific mental activities/trainings that can cause plastic changes in our brain. And these mental activities and exercise, if we do it systematically over time, it can change specific structures and brain functions and, in turn, can alter the different components of our Emotional Style.

So, if you want to wrestle your negativity and tap it out using systematic mental activities and exercise, here are some tips that can sure help you win the fight. BTW, there are 9 tips (because “10” is mainstream) towards positivity and you can do one, or do them all together in a day. It’s your choice!

Yes, I know. I am preaching.


Tip #1:

Reference: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tRdDqXgsJ0&feature=related

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The Midterms Aftermath

Who’s to blame for the F?

The F Grade

After the exam week, the Psychology society was abuzz by the students, specifically the Juniors – complaining, making alibis, justifications, denial, and etc. The midterms, for them, was just like Sendong – mentally and physically devastating; and the aftermath? Aside from disappointment, they elicit their enervating locus of control.

There are chismis that had been crisscrossing from student circles that are like the Kalaw’s – group-oriented birds that really sound infuriating especially during noon. That is because, some third year students, during their breaks, they seem to talk about how meager they perform in midterms because of something that is beyond their control.

Not to offend anyone, but most of the avowals I’ve overheard sounded like: “Si Ma’am/Sir man gud kai (insert word), maong bagsak ko,” “wa man ko katarong study ato Bai kay busy kaayo,” “ako mabagsak? (F gyud biya),” “wa man pud ko resources gud.” “Naa plano si God nganong ingon ani and result.” And there are lots of lines akin to those that I failed to mention.

From those statements, the only thing that rings a bell is the fact that they are using different social strategies to feel better—not to get insecure with others, or not to look like a lame duck amongst their peer.

Worst, there are some students who settle on their poor performance. They believe that a clinging grade, or F on a difficult subject, is the utmost of their capacity. But wait! Nobody relishes from a grade of F or D, right? So they simply put the blame on everything that they think is out of their hands.

Also, it is clear that they are making alibis, excuses, justifications, denial, and laying the blame on others. And if an individual keeps on doing those, rest assured that they will not see core of the problem – their faulty cognitions that are often manifested on their speech. Moreover, the practice of manufacturing reasons would also make one believe that failure, especially if it becomes a self-norm, is acceptable. It is undoubtedly a hoax directed to no other than, their selves!

In short, they tend to QUIT! And thus, they hamper their potentials that had been dormant due to their destructive mentality. Note that quitting would just make everything grave. But then, for those who are externally-bound, it is the best solution to things that seem to be spinning out of control. It becomes a habit for them and they end up with nothing.

Generally the locus of control they demonstrate are externally focused, to the point where it becomes debilitating. And it’s just like a sailor sailing on an open sea, and amid the whirling waters, he dismisses to use the paddle situated right under his nose. More’s the pity; they are letting bad fate and misfortune shore them to the “isle of anxiety.” And as a result, they tend to become more handicapped than ever.

Not only that it causes one to feel helpless, but it also makes one insecure and inferior in making decisions. When it comes to life-changing decisions, they also tend to be dependent on other people.

I am not saying that external factors do not affect us. But again, the effect of these things on us should be limited. We shouldn’t really let them take control of our lives. Rather we need to become responsible over our decisions. Whatever the outcomes are, we should understand that our choices are behind each and every one of these outcomes. In other words then, we must see to it that we are the captains of our ships. By being so, when we find our ships off-course and battling a maelstrom, we can easily turn towards a different direction. Thus, we also come to understand that we are free to create the lives we want to live and the future that we have set our eyes upon.

I think I am getting my point across, or at least I hope I am anyway. I do not exactly know how to cut this article short but rather than allowing myself to become circumlocutory, I’ll just end with this statement,

“Remember that each day you live is tantamount to writing a page in your life story. Life is short, make your own decisions and make the most of it.”


Message from the author: If you think that this blog is your cup of tea then share, like, and subscribe. That’s the best thing you can do after the blogger’s effort to come up with something worth reading (if you think so) during your wee hours. Thanks!